If you're eyes are on the storm...

God really does speak to us ~

just in different ways, all the time.

In the fog of the first days

of my dad becoming so sick

and putting him in the nursing home...

this one song by Crowning Crows kept playing.

It's an awesome song, but a certain

line kept standing out to me:

"If your eyes are on the storm

You'll wonder if I love you still

But if your eyes are on the cross

You know I always have and always will.."

We were truly in a daze...

just trying to make it through each

day for and with our dad

AND our dear mother.  

Our hearts were/are so broken

and in such a state of shock.

It was difficult to see beyond

anything but what was happening

with my sweet dad...

I was getting up VERY early in the

mornings to be at Wesley Woods, 

my mother was staying all day long

and my sisters were filling in the gaps

and helping throughout the day

and we were all staying there late.

My eyes were definitely 

"on the storm",

but yet God was there.
I needed my eyes on the cross.
What a reminder!
What truth!!!!!!!!!!!!

In all sorts of different, 

very sweet ways...
God was with us.  

I still think this little guy

might be an angel on earth!  :)

My family and I tried our hardest

to adjust.  We HATED most everything

about Wesley Woods and could 

NOT believe that this world exists.
I still can't.
It takes a code to get into the 

hall where my dad is ~

once you press that code and enter,

it's a world of its own.

A sad, cruel world.  

We pressed on as best we could

and slowly but surely I began

to see why God MIGHT have placed

us in this horrific situation.

There are others there who need

love and laughter

and sane people to give them hugs.

My mother, sisters and I 

have come to love the other 

precious patients.

Our favorite...Adele:)

"Spit Spit John"

The roaming was one of the shocks

to us.  Until you know this disease,

you just have NO CLUE!!!!!!!!!!!

If we didn't laugh our way through

this and send each other funny texts

and pictures, there is no way we

could make it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dad was so gone:(

We tried to think of every little thing

that we could do to make things

better for him...

such as my first purchase for Wesley

Woods ~ a Baylor blanket for his room:)

Donald was always rolling down

to invite me to have coffee with him;)

Once again, we were reminded of

our mother's strength and her love for

her husband.  It hasn't faltered in the least.

Sweet Michelle!

The poster from Hadlee's class:)

There before sunrise....

My Aggie Snuggie and I leaving

bright and early!  

How in the world did this happen?

Precious Lindsey is his speech therapist

and we LOVE her!!!  

These days were long.  

A selfie from our precious Mother!

Dad slept quite a bit and didn't eat.

We worried so much.

He was so unpredictable.  

On one hand, we wanted him to turn

into the oblivious and crazy patients

who entertained us...but yet, did we?

Otto!

He talked out of his head A LOT

and sometimes he knew us and

sometimes he didn't.

He went through one stage

of roaming, not being able to 

sit for long, and constantly moving

furniture.  He was so agitated.  

He often needed shots to help

control him.  It was horrible.  

We felt so sorry for him.  :(

We just loved him though....

At times, he was extremely angry

and mean and it killed us.  

We constantly tried explaining 

to the workers that this wasn't 

the dad we knew and loved.

They always told us they

knew and understood.  

Travis was awesome coming

to care for his PaPa.

Just the way PaPa had done for him.  

Sometimes he was quite the character!  

Lynna became known

as Miss Wesley Woods ~

the patients loved her!

The ladies are the funniest

up there.  Meet Claw Lady and Adele.

Kelli.  I couldn't have made it

without her.  She came to

love some of the patients herself.

We made the best of those first,

absolutely shocking and horrific days!

Michelle brought Nova and Dad

seemed to enjoy that so much.

We thought for sure that at any moment

Dad would start wanting to go home.

He was such a creature of his 

own domain - his own stuff and world.

We were blown away that he 

never asked for home, his car,

his chair, his Lotto tickets, etc.

We were so thankful for that, 

yet it was also confirmation that

he truly was gone:(

"Just Be Held"

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held (stop holding on and just be held)

Just be held, just be held, just be held, just be held