God really does speak to us ~
just in different ways, all the time.
In the fog of the first days
of my dad becoming so sick
and putting him in the nursing home...
this one song by Crowning Crows kept playing.
It's an awesome song, but a certain
line kept standing out to me:
"If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You know I always have and always will.."
We were truly in a daze...
just trying to make it through each
day for and with our dad
AND our dear mother.
Our hearts were/are so broken
and in such a state of shock.
It was difficult to see beyond
anything but what was happening
with my sweet dad...
I was getting up VERY early in the
mornings to be at Wesley Woods,
my mother was staying all day long
and my sisters were filling in the gaps
and helping throughout the day
and we were all staying there late.
My eyes were definitely
"on the storm",
but yet God was there.
I needed my eyes on the cross.
What a reminder!
What truth!!!!!!!!!!!!
In all sorts of different,
very sweet ways...
God was with us.
I still think this little guy
might be an angel on earth! :)
My family and I tried our hardest
to adjust. We HATED most everything
about Wesley Woods and could
NOT believe that this world exists.
I still can't.
It takes a code to get into the
hall where my dad is ~
once you press that code and enter,
it's a world of its own.
A sad, cruel world.
We pressed on as best we could
and slowly but surely I began
to see why God MIGHT have placed
us in this horrific situation.
There are others there who need
love and laughter
and sane people to give them hugs.
My mother, sisters and I
have come to love the other
precious patients.
Our favorite...Adele:)
"Spit Spit John"
The roaming was one of the shocks
to us. Until you know this disease,
you just have NO CLUE!!!!!!!!!!!
If we didn't laugh our way through
this and send each other funny texts
and pictures, there is no way we
could make it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad was so gone:(
We tried to think of every little thing
that we could do to make things
better for him...
such as my first purchase for Wesley
Woods ~ a Baylor blanket for his room:)
Donald was always rolling down
to invite me to have coffee with him;)
Once again, we were reminded of
our mother's strength and her love for
her husband. It hasn't faltered in the least.
Sweet Michelle!
The poster from Hadlee's class:)
There before sunrise....
My Aggie Snuggie and I leaving
bright and early!
How in the world did this happen?
Precious Lindsey is his speech therapist
and we LOVE her!!!
These days were long.
A selfie from our precious Mother!
Dad slept quite a bit and didn't eat.
We worried so much.
He was so unpredictable.
On one hand, we wanted him to turn
into the oblivious and crazy patients
who entertained us...but yet, did we?
Otto!
He talked out of his head A LOT
and sometimes he knew us and
sometimes he didn't.
He went through one stage
of roaming, not being able to
sit for long, and constantly moving
furniture. He was so agitated.
He often needed shots to help
control him. It was horrible.
We felt so sorry for him. :(
We just loved him though....
At times, he was extremely angry
and mean and it killed us.
We constantly tried explaining
to the workers that this wasn't
the dad we knew and loved.
They always told us they
knew and understood.
Travis was awesome coming
to care for his PaPa.
Just the way PaPa had done for him.
Sometimes he was quite the character!
Lynna became known
as Miss Wesley Woods ~
the patients loved her!
The ladies are the funniest
up there. Meet Claw Lady and Adele.
Kelli. I couldn't have made it
without her. She came to
love some of the patients herself.
We made the best of those first,
absolutely shocking and horrific days!
Michelle brought Nova and Dad
seemed to enjoy that so much.
We thought for sure that at any moment
Dad would start wanting to go home.
He was such a creature of his
own domain - his own stuff and world.
We were blown away that he
never asked for home, his car,
his chair, his Lotto tickets, etc.
We were so thankful for that,
yet it was also confirmation that
he truly was gone:(
"Just Be Held"
Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on
And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go
So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held
If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will
And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands
So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held
Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go
So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held (stop holding on and just be held)
Just be held, just be held, just be held, just be held
