My Dad :(

We celebrated my Dad's 76th birthday 

on Monday, November 9th, 2015.

My sweet dad had been officially

diagnosed with early onset

dementia in the summer.  

We'd noticed off and on 

for actually about five years that

Dad had some issues,

but nothing major.  It sort of 

began when he was hospitalized

for pneumonia five years ago

(shortly before Trav's accident).

He did not like being hospitalized

AT ALL and suffered from what

is known as Sun Downer's.  

He hated being out of his element

and routine so much so that he

actually checked himself out

of the hospital.  Michelle walked

in one morning to find him 

waiting down stairs and he 

said, "I'd been waiting for one

of you to come get me!!!"

BUT, he recovered from that

and he continued in his retirement.

He and Mother traveled a little bit 

more and continued their support

of the Baylor Men and Lady

Bear's Basketball programs ~

even traveling to the National

Championship to support the

Lady Bears.  My dad did begin to 

have doubts of forgetfulness and

not wanting to do much.

He struggled with his feet swelling

(peripheral neuropathy which was 

horrible), odd sleeping habits which

he sorta kinda always had, and a few

other issues here and there.

But he functioned and actually hardly

anyone ever knew about most 

of these issues.  Looking back,

many of the things he had issues with

were probably huge warning signs,

but we just didn't have a clue. 

I think my mother put up with a lot

more than we should have ever

let her.  It was just one minute,

he was a little crazy and the very next, 

he was completely normal.  About two

years ago, my mother stopped letting him

drive and he also gave up handling

the checkbook and many, many 

other chores he had done

for their ENTIRE marriage.

This night on November 11th...

Dad was for the most part himself.

He was much more quiet

than he usually was ~ but we had been

noticing that for the last couple

of years, but he was functioning

and loving and happy to be with his 

family whom he adored.  

That was Monday.  

By Wednesday morning, 

he was a different person.

He had gone into what we now

know was delirium.  

Lynna and my mother took him to 

the ER that morning because he

was just not normal, not functioning.

The ER could tell something was

not right with him, but they could

not find anything WRONG 

with him physically;  therefore,

they could not admit him.  

They gave him a strong sedative

and he pretty much slept the next

24 hours other than to wake up

delirious a few times. 

Late that first night

after we had all left the house 

(although we begged Mom to let one 

of us stay with them that night).

My mother called my house to 

say that Dad had gotten up out of his 

chair and had fallen in the living

room, but was back asleep on the floor.

Troy rushed over to help her.

They got him back to the chair

and Troy slept on the couch the 

next two nights trying

to help control him.  

He had become incontinent

and very unpredictable.

He truly was in a state of delirium: 

a serious disturbance in 

mental abilities that results in confused 

thinking and reduced awareness of your environment. 

The start of delirium is usually 

rapid — within hours or a few days.

We could not have made it those two 

nights without my husband.  What 

he went through with my mom

and dad is something my sisters and I

 - AND TROY -

will never forget.  I will forever be

grateful for my husband.  He was the only

one strong enough physically 

to endure those 48 hours.

He stepped in truly as a son.  

By Friday morning the 13th,

we had called his primary physician

who loves my dad and he told us

to bring him that he would 

find a way to get him admitted

into the hospital.  

We Troy somehow managed to get 

him to the clinic.  All six of us

went desperately seeking help

and answers for our beloved Dad :(

Fortunately Dad had some fever

and that was the ticket the doctor

used to get him admitted into

the hospital.  The next days

are still very much a blur.  

Hillcrest GRACIOUSLY provided a

"sitter" to be with him 24/7.  

Dad was such a fall risk and just 

pretty much out of control

that he and we needed this.

We were with him all day long

but the sitter allowed us not to 

have to have someone sleep in his room

all night although we stayed

until the wee hours.

We were so worried...

especially my poor, sweet mother:(

The staff was wonderful at

Hillcrest and it was of much 

comfort to read things like this 

in the hall way of his wing....

We had been given hard to get,

expensive tickets to an A&M game

on that Saturday.  After much 

deliberation, we decided to head on 

to the game ~ Mother and Michelle

were going to be with him all day

with Uncle Ron checking in on him, too.  

We took the kids to see Dad

on our way out of town that afternoon...

It was their first time since seeing 

him Wednesday night when he 

was completely out of it.  

Hadlee had made her PaPa this poster:

And Hudson had made this one:

(He chose green and yellow letters since

PaPa loves Baylor.  He also drew Papa

in a hospital bed with an IV pole 

and Hudson standing beside the bed 

visiting him.  I have no idea how he

even knew to draw an IV pole?!?)

At this point, Dad had mostly been sleeping, 

with short bouts of being awake.  

Mother was so exhausted

and so worried.  

The kids didn't quite know

what to think.  :(

I didn't either.  

We got home late that night 

and I was able to go back up and 

check on my dad and sit with him

while he slept.  I did that several

nights.  We were overcome with worry.

Basically the doctors searched 

for what was wrong.  It was apparent

that there was indeed an infection

and come to find out it was a

an enlarged prostrate.

Most likely this infection had 

caused him to go into delirium.

This is not uncommon with elderly 

people especially ones already 

dealing with dementia issues.

The doctors told us that Dad may 

come back to his baseline

or he may not.  There was just 

no way to know what was going

to happen.  The doctors all 

said they see these things

go both ways.  

These were horrible days.  

Dad was so out of it

and we were heart broken.  

He was also having moments

of aggression that were NOT 

in his character.  It was awful.  

We worried over the caregivers 

sitting with him at night 

and how they would handle him.

Several nights I would go up

very late and surprise the caregivers.

We wanted to make sure that 

Dad was being well taken care of...

we love him so much.  

I also constantly thought about 

how Dad has ALWAYS been 

there for me....no matter what.

He has always been the first

to stand up and make sure I was 

alright...no matter the circumstances.

Even a mere couple of years ago,

when my dad's feet were hurting

him so much and I was in the 

hospital with a staph infection,

he sat by me in my hospital room.

I begged him to leave, but 

he said he just couldn't leave

me alone in there.  :(

Several late night trips to Hillcrest.....

Looking back, the caregivers at Hillcrest were 

all wonderful.  We had no idea how

good we had it at the hospital

as far as the care Dad was receiving.    

The STORM was back at Hillcrest;)

I wish they had never been there

before and I wish that they'd 

never have to go back there.  

In a nut shell, the doctors

at Hillcrest decided Dad was full 

blown Stage 6 to 7 Alzheimer's.

We couldn't believe that this 

could happen as quickly as it did.

But it could.

And unfortunately it did.  :(

How in the world?!?

This was just us July 4th.

Much less we had all been at 

George's less than a week earlier

celebrating his birthday with him:(

Hillcrest worked with his meds

and worked to get him up.

It killed my soul when I asked

the therapist (who had also

worked with Travis before!!!) 

if & when his walking would come back.

He sadly informed me that his 

walking was not a physical 

issue.  It was an issue with him

not remembering or knowing

how to walk anymore. 

That was very tough to hear.   

He was off and on some EXTREMELY

potent medications to help control him.

He was in such good spirits this day

when they had him up.

You could see his fun and loving

personality and how funny he is.  

It gave us a glimpse of hope.

By a true miracle (through a wonderful connection),

we were able to get him a spot at the 

best place in Waco for Alzheimer's.

After one week at Hillcrest, 

Wesley Woods picked Dad up to transport

him to their nursing home
on Thursday, November 19th.  

We were so anxious and worried.

We fully expected Dad to start

begging for home, his chair, his car,

his life, his lotto tickets........but he never did.
I cried so hard as this van drove
off with Dad and as it arrived
at Wesley Woods with him.
Dad was so clueless.
We were all in such shock.  

Our first evening at Wesley Woods

was a REAL LIVE NIGHTMARE.

There is no other way to put it.  

We were in shock at the place,

the other residents and what it 

was like...we were just in total

and complete SHOCK.  

I didn't know how we would make it

through this time.  My sisters, mother and I 

were all with him that first night.

It.was.UNREAL.  
This was our first glimpse into the
harsh and horrible reality of this disease.  

The only light:  Travis was with us, too:)
He's not a rainbow;), but he's a reminder
that God can and would see us through.
It was hard to have faith of that again though.
This was horrible.  

I ended up having to call our 

sweet neighbors, Trudi and Jeff,

late that night to come and be 

with the kids so Troy could come and help us.
We had to also call a local service
to send a night nurse to help us
during the night - Troy and the
night nurse stayed the night
in Dad's room.
It was another torturous night
for my husband.  None of us could believe
what was happening.
The man before us was NOT
my Dad.  We were crushed.  

I prayed my heart out that night.

It was so difficult not to be 

"consumed"...we felt so alone

and so in shock.  

Hadlee came home with this from 

her class.  Mrs. Cates knew what was going

on from Kelli and I thought this was

so very thoughtful and kind.

It truly meant so much.  

Dad was so "gone"...

it was just so sad.  Mother was

there early that first morning on his

first official day at Wesley Woods.

The fears we had going into 

the nursing home were not

the fears we faced.  He really never

asked for home or anything ~ in fact,

he had no rememberance of 

any of that or even of us :(

My heart was broken which made me

realize that Mother's heart must be

shattered.  She hardly left his side

at Hillcrest or Wesley Woods.  

In the days to come, we started

to kinda take "shifts".  We quickly

realized that if this nursing home 

is the best Waco has to offer for 

Alzheimer's patients then we 

were in real trouble.  

We did not yet feel comfortable

with their care and attentiveness 

to Dad.  There were so many needy

patients and not enough workers.  

We never left Dad alone.

We also hired people to stay in

his room all night long.  

He continued to be highly 

agitated, aggressive, 

and totally unpredictable.  

It was like he was moving in and 

out of moments of awareness.

It was so sad.  

Then at other times, he

was funny and pleasant and 

made us giggle!  

I continued to be amazed at THIS guy...

sitting by his PaPa's side and helping

in ways he could.  It definitely made me 

remember those months and months of

my mom and dad spending their weeks

in Austin to be by their grandson's

side at Texas Neuro Hospital while

Lynna had to work.  That was so 

hard on my parents, yet they did it.  

My mother and sisters and I tried to help
Dad adjust to this new world.
It was so hard and so sad.  

Uncle Ron and Mical brought 

a recliner from Mom and Dad's

house to have in his room.  

Mother was so loving.

She exhibited true love.  

She continues to do that today.  

Somehow we managed to survive

the first few days.  None of us had

a clue what the world of Alzheimer's

was like.  I can't believe that I've

known people that have gone through

this and I wasn't there more to help.

This is the cruelest disease.  

We kept most of this rather quiet

because, well, we were in shock still

and didn't quite know what would

happen from one minute to the next.

Plus for the sake of Dad's dignity.  

Once again in our lives,

we were so thankful for our family.  

One minute Dad was sorta, kinda

"with" us, and then next he was gone.  

I was excited to give him

this from Hadlee and her precious class...

A lot of the time he was 

so unresponsive:(

How did this happen? :(

Mother and I tried to decorate his

room.  We desperately wanted the 

staff to realize what a special man

they now had in their nursing home.

I think Dad felt our presence...

and I know he felt my mother's

presence.  Those first days are 

such a blur, such a nightmare.