Travis Lately

This post is LONG overdue!!! :(

and it's long....

 

My Travis is never, ever far from

my thoughts, mind and heart.....

plus I try to be with him as often as I can!

God blessed us AGAIN with an

awesome speech therapist

for the fall session at Baylor Speech. 

Travis truly gives speech his all...

even though it HAS to be, rather

it IS, the most frustrating process

ever.  Travis can't see results as

easily as we can.  Speech involves

so much more than "speech"!!!

He has to work SO hard at practicing

his swallowing and doing exercises

with his tongue. 

It.Is.A.Slow.And.Sad.Process.

with.absolutely.NO.guarantees.  :(

 

But look who goes at it with

110% AND a smile:)

Seeing that smile and hearing that laugh...

well, it's just unspeakable to me!!! ;)

I absolutely love our afternoons together

when it gets to be just him and me. 

I have fun with this handsome, sweet guy.......

And I know he loves being with

La Tante, too!!!  :)

Alison is his Speech Therapist this fall.

She is such a cool chick and we all

hit it off!  She gets Trav and

they have fun together...all the while

working VERY hard!!!

 

The first half of speech is spent in

individual...breathing, vowel prolongations,

swallowing, tongue exercises

and iPad practice (which Travis hates

since he just wants to TALK!).

Trav's swallowing and his tongue movement

have truly improved!  We are anxious for

another swallow study test to see

if that will show all of this hard work, too.

Travis does NOT want another

swallow study because each one has

been so disappointing.  I am PRAYING

that his next one coming up will

show at least some improvement. 

Travis needs to see that!!!

Travis will have a new speech

therapist in the spring.

We will miss Alison very much :(

It's amazing how God works out so many

details.  This whole Baylor speech thing

is a BIG deal...and it takes a big person

to be able to take on Trav and all the issues

he has against him as far as speech goes ~

plus his personality;) God knew we needed

Alecia for the first session & Alison for this one!

After individual therapy, we go to group.

Each person in group has a therapist

and we play games or partcipate in activities.

Not surprisingly Travis it the total cut-up

in the group! ;)  I'm always amazed and

comforted by people who come into

contact with Travis.  They can't help

but feel such sadness and heartbreak for him,

yet they also can't help but fall in love with

him all at the same time.  We really

are blessed by Trav's presence. 

 

I wish Travis could see as easily as we

can see WHY God would choose

someone like him to endure all of this?

A sweet friend recently posted this on

Trav's wall...it's SOOOOOOO true!!!

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.

GOD GIVES HIS HARDEST

BATTLES TO HIS

STRONGEST SOLDIERS.

 

Saturday mornings, Travis does therapy

at Reach Therapeutic Riding Center. 

Lynna or Scott takes him to ride Simon.

He will be in a competition at Camp Hope

in December.  We can't wait:)

We love having Travis over whenever

we can.  He will come and watch a movie

with us or watch the Cowboys with Troy.

Unfortunately his eye sight has issues...

the one eye that had a blown pupil

throws off his balance and sight

and I think he has trouble staying focused

on the television :( He has 20/20 vision

which is a miracle, but we know that

he sees double and that he can't follow

along reading lines in a passage.

BREAKS my heart because he

 always loved to read so much. 

One Sunday after church,

he and Scott came over to watch 

the Cowboys.  I cracked up when

I noticed my two favorite T's

were dressed just alike!!!!!!

They are so funny together...

always talking about going toe to toe!

My favorite Aggie & my favorite Longhorn:)

 

 

Two years and three months after

Trav's accident and I'm still

BLOWN away by the way people

care and want to support our Superman.

It just happened to be Superhero Day

at MHS and my sweet friend's daughter

called the night before to see if I had

any Travis Superman shirts left.

This meant so much for Kolby to

want to wear this shirt to our school!  :)

A couple of weeks ago, Lynna and Travis

joined US for church:)  This was such a

HUGE deal.  I know that our church

prayed so diligently and BOLDLY

for Travis...even announcing his name

at the end of every service for months. 

After church on October 14th, I really

wanted to go and tell Pastor Toby that

Travis was going to be coming to

church the following Sunday.  But it

was that particular Sunday that

Pastor Toby had mentioned how

he felt sick.  I couldn't believe that

he even stood in the foyer to visit with the

 congregation after church and I seriously

almost went up to him but I felt

bad doing that knowing he felt sick.

That was the last Sunday Pastor

Toby stood in our church foyer

or stood at the pulpit to preach.  :(

I would have loved for him to

have seen Travis the next week....

You might notice the absense of a walker!!!

Travis is WALKING. 

It's not very balanced and unfortunately

he falls A LOT (and has made a couple

of ER trips for stitches), but nevertheless...

he is walking.  His therapists and

doctors think it is way too dangerous

and that he should be using his walker,

but sometimes there's no stopping Superman!;)

We actually usually put a gait belt on him

and we do great with that.  He and I have

only fallen a couple of times together;)

He showers by himself and moves about

the house with an assistant only having

to follow him.  He continues to

get on his treadmill to exercise once

or twice a day AND he lifts his weights!

 

 

We have SO much to rejoice over. 

SOOOOOOOOOO much:)))))

But we also shed so many tears.

Trav's struggles are many. 

People truly can't fathom what it's

like for Travis, Lynna, Hunter and Scott.

It's unfathomable the issues and

the struggles they endure every.

single.day.  It kills my soul:(

There are bouts of depression

and desperation for all of them.

There are issues with Trav's filter

which is lost with the TBI.

His sleeping patterns are awful...

he is up most mornings by

4 am and never goes back to sleep until

that night (when given a sleeping aid).

There's more that I could never
 bring myself to share on here.

Travis is terribly lonely.  He sits in

a chair or lays on his bed

most of the day other than

when he showers or exercises.

I try to go by there everyday

for a visit.  Sometimes with the kids

and sometimes not.  We do

"speech" together and he doesn't

like it one bit if I have to miss a day!  ;)

I honestly don't know

how my sister makes it. 

Everything is an issue. 

This is her baby:(

 

A brain injury is vast.

A brain injury is devastating.

A brain injury is so sad.

 

We all miss the old Travis so much

and ache for all that could have been/

should have been/might have been.

BUT........we are grateful beyond

words that he IS here and he DOES

smile AND that there is still

HOPE for him and his FUTURE!!!

 

"For I know the plans that I have for you,"

declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you

and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

 

It's what follows that verse that is so

important on this journey for Travis:

"Then you will call on me and

 come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 

 You will seek me and find me when

you seek me with all your heart."

Jeremiah 29:12-13

 

I never fully believed or had knowledge

of true spiritual warfare until lately.

I've read about it and believed it,
but never truly witnessed it firsthand. 
I read The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven
after Trav's accident and I was fascinated
by the spiritual warfare aspects shared
in the book.  I was like "wow...that stuff
really exists."  I KNOW it to be true now.
I think Trav's mind and heart and body
are constantly being attacked. 
I could go on and on...I've realized
that little things that happen in my
day that upset me or frustrate me
is the enemy trying to "get" me...
and it often does unfortunately. 
I read in a passage recently that we
should verbally ask Jesus to
"draw near" when we feel like
we are losing it or feeling overly
frustrated.  Well, Travis actually
has REASON to constantly feel
defeated and frustrated.  EVERYthing
is a struggle for him......yet SOMETIMES
he has a drive in him to overcome & to inspire. 
Other times, though, it's just the opposite. 
God AND the enemy know
both these sides to our Superman.
Please pray with me for Travis
to overcome this struggle!!!
He needs God 110% of the time:)
We ALL do!!!!!!

 

I feel like I live a double life.

I have my little family/home life...

and I swear it's perfect to me.  I know

it's really not, but for me and my needs,

it IS.  My children are healthy and happy.

My husband loves me and I love him.

We have a nice home and awesome jobs.

I have the best friends in the world

and the sweetest family ever.

Then there's this life that we lead

with Travis.....it's SO hard.  From day

one of Trav's accident, Troy has

encouraged and helped me to keep things

normal for Walker, Hadlee & Hudson.

We don't want their little childhood

lives to be defined by what has happened

to Travis.  CHANGED by it...but not

DEFINED by it.  I have made a

conscience effort to do this, but it's

tough.  My tears fall easily.  Even

sweet little Hudson when he sees me

crying will say, "TraBis otay, Mommy?"

It's exhausting and it hurts to

see someone you love so very dearly

struggle all the time.  It's difficult

not knowing what the future holds

in regards to Travis.  My parents

are not the same...we all just

ache over this.  We try our

very best, but it's just tough.

I recently read this

"When you pray you will often

weep tears of joy, other times of

grief, but remember my child,

nothing grows without water. 

Tears are lyrics of the heart and

those shed in faith and trust

in me, will spring up a heavenly

garden in your soul for

my beloved earth angels..."

(from Secrets from Heaven)

My dad had tears in his eyes

when I took this picture of him and Trav. 

 

I still can't help but sometimes cry

out to God "WHY????"

Why did it have to be this bad?

Why can't Travis at least talk

or eat or be more normal???

OF COURSE I realize how much

worse it could be, but still.

He's my nephew.  He's one of my loves.

A recent Facebok post of Trav's

read, "After it's all said and done,

that ever present and always constant

question remains.  Why me?"

Shortly after that one, he posted,

"And everyone is hollering, even

my own mind is declaring,

Look what an awesome gift

God gave you."

That last post was sarcastic:(

 

My prayer for Travis...

Surrender to what is.

Let go of what was.

Have faith in what will be.

(Sonia Ricotti)

 

I do feel like God often gives ME answers

to the why's regarding my own life.

Would I have EVER shared my faith

and love for the Lord so openly

before this accident?  Sadly, NO:(

And when those urges come over

me that I "need" something new...

like a nicer home or a fancy purse

or SILLY stuff like that, I am quickly

reminded of what REALLY, truly

matters in life.  With one thought of

my beautiful sister and two handsome

nephews down the road and what

all THEY are enduring, the silly

little things I think I need

VANISH.  I am thankful for

realizations like this, but I still

don't think I needed these lessons

to be quite so dramatic!;)

I cling to and have no doubt

that it will all be SO clear to me

someday...maybe on earth,

maybe not until Heaven.

That's when I'll say....

"AHHHHHHHHHH, that's WHY!"

and "Of course!  Why not him?"

 

God is Good.

I have never once doubted that!

 

"By faith we understand that the

universe was formed at God's command,

so that what is seen was not made

out of what was visible."

Hebrews 11:3

 

So, until all is clear...

I'll continue to love and support

and pray and hope and believe

and be thankful!!!

Especially for afternoons

spent with my two favorite

trouble makers...

Superman and his Sidekick ;)

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
therefore He will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!"

Isaiah 30:18